It was a beautiful summer day in Winnipeg, Manitoba today
It was a beautiful summer day in and all of the children were out on the street playing games and running through sprinklers. I’m going tell you a story about how a boy no younger then twelve showed courage and attempted something amazing and achieved it. Now let the story begin with a boy called Atam Phair "Hey Atam want to come over for lunch? My mum is making her famous turkey sandwiches." Asked Harry. "All right Harry, but can Lilly come? My mum and dad are out some I have to watch her."Replied Atam.
It was a beautiful summer day in and all of the children were out on the street playing games and running through sprinklers. I’m going tell you a story about how a boy no younger then twelve showed courage and attempted something amazing and achieved it. Now let the story begin with a boy called Atam Phair "Hey Atam want to come over for lunch? My mum is making her famous turkey sandwiches." Asked Harry. "All right Harry, but can Lilly come? My mum and dad are out some I have to watch her."Replied Atam.
Harry groaned, Lilly is so annoying she complained about everything and loved to tattle on them not to mention that she’s a complete crybaby, but I guess it can’t be helped since she’s only six. "Big brother I don’t like turkey!" Shouted Lilly from the park sandbox. "Its turkey sandwiches or you go hungry all right Lilly" Atam told Lilly. "I DON’T WANT SANDWICHES!!" Yelled Lilly who started to cry loudly. "Lilly stop crying for no reason and don’t yell at me I'm in charge!" Atam scolded Lilly. "I HATE YOU BROTHER I NEVER GET ANYTHING I WANT!" Lilly screamed at the top of her lungs and ran out of the sandbox and bolted towards home.
"Lilly get back here!" Atam called after his little sister. " Should I go Atam? We could hangout later after you get this mess settled out." Harry said to the furious looking Atam. "No Harry I’ll come and Lilly will to she needs to learn she can’t always get what she wants." Atam spoke quietly. "I don’t know what she was yelling about last time I checked she always did get what she wanted."Harry replied and patted Atams back. "Lets go get her Harry she has to apologise big time." Atam seized Harry’s hand and bolted after Lilly. "BIG BROTHER HELP ME!!" Atam and Harry both heard Lillys voice but they didn’t know where she was. " Lilly where are you?! What’s wrong?!" Shouted Atam in a very worried tone. After five minutes Atam and Harry finally found Lilly, expected it wasn’t what they expected to see. Lilly was in the middle of the road and by the looks of it she twisted her ankle and couldn’t move.
Atam stared at a horse pulled carriage in horror, it was going to hit Lilly! Atam ran to save his sister he scooped Lilly up and took set her down on the side walk. "I’m sorry brother!! I’ll never ever act like that again!" Lilly hugged her brother tight and Atam his face covered in sweat smiled and hugged her back. Harry smiled and felt happy for Atam he showed courage in saving his sister or perhaps it was just fear.....
Hi Sam,
ReplyDeleteI'm really impressed that you managed to get all this done in class today. I also find it quite remarkable that you are so comfortable using dialogue, along with the correct formatting.
I would like you to start getting in the habit of breaking up long chunks of text into smaller, more reader friendly paragraphs. If we get the chance in class, just ask and I'll spend some time with you trying to format this.